Leaving It Behind in 2009
Current Mood:
Anointed & 
Faith-filled & 
On Fire 4 God! & Radical
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:12-14 NIV
I have no regrets about the things I’ve experienced in 2009, both good and bad, because in every single thing, a lesson was learned and growth emerged. This year brought a lot of pruning and a lot of crushing; both of which increased the level of humility, thankfulness and determination within me. With every loss, I gained a clearer perspective and with every crushing I got to see what was really within me: the good, the bad and the ugly. In all in all, I learned two very important things:
1) I truly love God with everything I have and everything I am;
2) I truly trust Him.
Have you ever wondered what was really in your heart? It’s real easy to say you love the Lord and trust Him when you have your basic needs met, good health and not facing any extreme circumstances; but have you ever wondered if you’d feel the same if all of these were taken from you? Would you still bless the Lord if it seemed like serving Him yielded no profit? Well, for me, I never have to wonder that. I’ve had a “Job Experience” not too long ago, having several major calamities befall me within a 24 hour span. I was in a state of shock, then devastation and then that turned into anger and later despair; for What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me (Job 3:25). What I experienced was the very thing I dreaded most, which used to be the fear that motivated me to becoming an over-achiever. It was that very thing that I worked so hard to avoid from happening, and now it has happened.
I don’t know if many will admit to this, but I think many people have a “thing” that they wonder if they’ll be able to recover from or maybe it’ll be the one thing that’ll push them over the edge. Well, it was “that thing” for me that happened, and at first, I was as Job describes in 3:26, “I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.” This happened after the numbness subsided. Then later, a great anger came with darkness lurking in the background; as it is especially these moments that the enemy hopes to gain influence and advantage over you. I was fighting for my mind and for my life. My children were doubly concerned; concerned with the matter as well as concerned for me. I admit that even I was concerned for me. You see, the heart of me wanted to get past this with a greater faith and with the attitude of Christ, but I didn’t know how that was going to happen since I had so much anger. However, something began to shift the atmosphere and my mind around the 7th day. I began to feel, sense and see the results from the praying saints. All of a sudden, my mind began to get clearer and there was no more anger, just gratefulness, reverence and deep-abiding love. This is why I vehemently tell you that nobody, absolutely nobody, can tell me that the prayers of the righteous doesn’t avail much, because IT DOES! The prayer of the righteous releases tremendous power and that power begins to change things. Don’t EVER discount prayer!
So as I look back over 2009 I see how God used circumstances to grow me, stretch me, prune me, crush me and elevate me through humility. I learned that you NEVER reach “it” because when you think you’re there, God takes you to a higher level and that level challenges what you thought you already knew. As a result, that will bring about either you giving up or humility, which the latter is the desired result. I learned that God brings you to different levels; once you’ve passed level one, He then brings you up to the next level—and so on and so on. It will never stop until the day you’re face to face with Christ. NO ONE EVER reaches the point where “they’ve arrived”, and if you ever think you have, prepare for a great fall; for the Bible says, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). The best alternative is to fear the Lord and have a spirit of humility, which brings forth God’s grace, wealth, honor and life (Proverbs 3:34, 22:4).
As I close-out this year and go into the New Year, I will go with a steadfast mindset to actively pursue:
1) Immersing myself in the love of God and sharing it with others;
2) Giving more, blessing more and loving more;
3) Crucifying my flesh (and even that has levels);
4) My God-given destiny;
5) More humility;
6) God’s glory.
I may leave out of this year with several battle wounds and scars but definitely no regrets! 2010 is the time to win and I will certainly enter the New Year with that mindset.
To God be ALL the Glory!
God bless!
The Power of Prayer – Thank You
“The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” James 5:16 AKJV
There is nobody, absolutely nobody, who can tell me that the prayers of the righteous don’t avail much. IT DOES!
Firstly, I must sincerely say thank you to all who prayed for me and to all who obeyed the prompting of the Holy Ghost to intercede on my behalf. I FELT YOUR PRAYERS and though I am not out of the woods, my mind is much more clearer because of your prayers. Last weekend and earlier this week I was extremely angry, which later turned to depression, despondency and despair. I felt depleted and wanted to diminish in one way or another; BUT GOD said “Not so” and had His people pray on my behalf. I literally felt the shift in the atmosphere, in the spirit realm, and my thinking became more and more unclouded and slowly but surely I was Naima again. Once again, thank you so very much and I pray that God tremendously bless you!
I must ask that you continue to hold me in your prayers. My family and I (6 ppl) are still facing very dire circumstances, most of which are under ‘emergency’ status, so we still need your prayers. God is a mighty God and I know He moves on behalf of His people. The Bible says, “The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their cry” (Psalm 34:15). II Chronicles 16:9 says, “For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him” (NKJV); and Proverbs 15:29 says “The LORD is far from the wicked, but He hears the prayer of the righteous” (NKJV). Thus, I put my hope and trust in the Lord, believing He will work all things together for my good.
Prayer is a very powerful tool that God has given to His people and it’s unfortunate that many use prayer as a last resort, with little to no expectation, instead of using prayer as a first response to all things. The Bible makes it very clear that we’re to continually pray and for one another; for it says to “pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints (God’s consecrated people)” (Ephesians 6:18 AMP). I cannot express enough how important prayer really is, especially when the Holy Ghost prompts you to pray. It may be a quick short prayer or a much longer intense prayer, but either way, be obedient and pray. You never know if your prayer may stop someone from making a bad decision or if it will literally save someone else’s life!
God bless!
This is Real Talk
Joy eludes me and anger is trying to consume me;
Nothing is coming up roses;
Everything is coming up thorns;
Yet You still say, “Trust Me”
But I am angry with You, Lord;
When You told me to leave all that I knew to follow You, I obeyed;
When You told me to forsake my evil ways and give up my lustful desires, though I at times fell in the process, I obeyed;
When You told me to resign leaving my only source of income, as terrifying as it was, I still obeyed;
When You told me to speak no matter how hard the message or how high the cost, I cried then I obeyed;
When I was confronted with persecution and accusations, You told me to keep on going, and I obeyed;
When all seemed lost You still said, “My child, there is more that I require of you”, and I said, “Yea, Lord” and I obeyed.
But now Lord, look at my heart as it bleeds and see how everything and everyone has fallen down around me;
There are some who think I’ve caused these calamities upon myself, while others simply question the level of my sanity;
The good name I worked so hard to establish has been utterly destroyed;
And the only means of transportation I had has been repossessed;
My home, the beautiful home You blessed me with has been foreclosed, and now homelessness awaits me;
I turn to the left just to find that I’ve lost a child and to my right are the remaining children seeking my strength and direction;
But I have nothing to give but pain and despair, yet, through it all You tell me to trust and follow You.
Burdens and hardship continues to mount up on every side;
The brook has dried up and You no longer command the ravens to feed me;
I cry to You, “Lord, what’s next? Where is the provision?” Yet Your answer is deafening silence;
All the while the devourer lurks in the shadows seeking to do more than just destroy me;
He wants to use me to hurt You;
He uses soothing words to entice me and makes all kinds of promises in hopes of seducing me;
He even says he can give me beauty for ashes and gladness instead of the aching pain I feel inside;
All of these are mine, he says, if only I serve him.
But who can stand against the Lord and live? And though I am broken, I am not ignorant of the enemy’s schemes and lies;
I know that no matter what, You are still God and there is NO ONE, including all of hell, who can stand against You;
Great and Mighty is Your Name, You are the Lord of hosts, the Great I Am, the great King of Glory;
You are everlasting to everlasting and there is NO wisdom, NO insight or NO plan that can succeed against You;
Though I am cast down, my heart still burns for You and aches for You, and I so seek Your glory, Oh Lord;
If You say You will never forsake me, then it is that which is true; therefore, somewhere provision lies and awaits me;
Arise, Oh Lord, and let Your enemies be scattered; renew my joy which is my strength; anoint me afresh with Your Spirit and bring me higher in You;
Restore me, Oh God, so that I may war for You, and through all of this mayhem, show me Your glory.
Your Word says the prayers of the righteous avails much and I know it is these prayers that brings me strength on this day;
While I continue to walk through this valley of death, continue to press their hearts to pray for me;
And let their words be not their own words but the words of the Greater One within them;
And help me, Holy Spirit, to keep my eyes steadfast on the Father and not on the place of isolation and desolation;
Forgive me for any and all sin, and even in my suffering be magnified and glorified, let the people of God be edified and the body of Christ purified;
And let me be healed now in Jesus’ Name, let my mind not wander to dark places but let it be steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work and Word of the Lord;
You say in Your Word to let the weak say they are strong, so in Jesus’ name I confess now that I am strong!
Thank You, Lord, for rescuing your servant and for leading me down the path that brings a greater glory to Your wondrous and sovereign Name.
Real talk.
Amen.
Timeless Reflection for the New Year
Revelation 2: 2-5
2 I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. 3You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. 4Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. 5Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.
We work so hard for God. We work so diligently for our churches. We toil endlessly for our households, friends, family, neighbors, etc. Most of us report to some type of formal profession each day in addition to raising families, pursuing higher education or maintaining more than one job. We are a society consumed by achievement, no doubt about it…we teach our children that they can be anything they want to be..as we should. We should all dare to dream and achieve after all, isn’t that the very fiber of our great nation?
I believe the Lord wants us to work hard, to wear many different hats and to do all things to the best of our ability. But even more than achieving these things I believe He calls us to remember and strive to attain the greatest achievement of all…to love the Lord your God with all your mind, all your soul and all your strength (Deuteronomy 6:5). God sees all that we do and all we do not do and in the midst of all we purpose to achieve we mustn’t neglect to purpose our hearts to love our Father.
As I grow older it amazes me how quickly a year passes. Seemingly in the twinkling of an eye. It amazes me further to realize how busy I am and how I seem to become busier with each moment. Within these reflections I must admit that I sometimes long for the days when I had no clue what Kingdom WORK meant. Because work is just what the name implies…work! And working for the Kingdom carries with it an urgency all its own.
As another New Year approaches I am confident that God is calling His children to get His house in order. I am confident that God is calling us to remember the day when we loved first and served second. I am confident that the Lord is calling us to remember that we are creations of love and therefore created to love. I am thoroughly convinced that God loves and appreciates us for the honest work we put in and the results that manifest. But I am just as convinced that God is watching us and gently whispering to our hearts…beloved children I created you for my pleasure and nothing pleases me more than to feel your love and to hear you say I love you Father. God is calling us to remember that love is what transpired as He walked with Adam by the cool of the day. God is calling us to remember that love is the foundation for His house. God is charging us to recall that He is love and we are able to love only because He first loved us (author paraphrase of I John 4:19). God is charging us to remember to love him with the same diligence, endurance and tirelessness that we devote to the many achievements we aspire to accomplish.
As we come to the close of this year and welcome a New Year let us continue with our deeds. Let us all continue to press forward and do as much as we can and as much as we are called to do to build God’s Kingdom. Let us speak to mountains, stand on faith, and serve our homes, families, friends and churches. But above all let us remember our first love and calling. Let the church…the entire body of Christ…remember the love of God and Christ as we usher in the New Year. And let that love shape our service, mold our commitments and redirect our dedication and re-energize all we do in the name of the Lord. Let us all turn (repent) and actively pursue the catalyst that brought us to God in the first place…His pure love for us and the love we were compelled to return.
The Ministry of Transparency
Current Mood: Anointed
I know that it may be hard for some people to believe that I’m a super-private person. When you read things such as my eJournal and many of my other writings, it appears to be as if I am a very open person when it comes down to sharing things about my private life. To some degree both are true. By nature, I am a super-private person. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember. However, when the Lord first put it in my spirit to write, one of the things He placed in my spirit was to be transparent; sharing all of my experiences—the good, the bad and the ugly. My initial response was ‘not so’. I didn’t want to be judged anymore than I already am. I didn’t want to be ridiculed, scrutinized, talked about, scorned or anything else that comes with having your business out there; however, what I didn’t realize was that was already happening. I was already talked about, already ridiculed, already misunderstood and a slew of other things; however, at that particular time, I didn’t see it that way. Nevertheless, what superseded my concerns of being mocked is the very fact that God designed me to want to help other people. He’s put something in me that compels me to minister regardless of what I may be experiencing at the time. The truth of the matter is that my life is indeed ministry and a part of that ministry is the ministry of being transparent.
I remember many years ago, not too long after I had moved to VA, I had experienced one of the darkest moments in my life. At that time, I had found out my husband had cheated on me with another woman and he had the tendency of choosing alcohol above and beyond me and the children. As a result of our splitting up, my oldest daughter repeatedly ran away from home and for a while she was nowhere to be found by me or the police. I remember having panic attacks each time my phone rang past 10PM because I was afraid of receiving a call from the police asking me to come ID a body they believe to be my daughter. I didn’t know what to expect.
During that time I was working in corporate America and was enduring constant verbal abuse from my manager who was trying to climb the corporate ladder, but at my expense (that’s a testimony that I’ll share at another time). I was an Advertising Executive and was the top producer of my team and in my department; however, my self-esteem was so low that I actually dealt with being berated and condescended on a regular basis. It became “normal” and I tried to become comfortable with it. Deep down inside I knew that the ‘old Naima’ would never put up with this and I knew that what I had allowed to carry on was unhealthy and not right. But what prevailed was that overwhelming feeling of being worthless and undeserving of anything good. I was so tore up inside during that time that people at the office just thought I was a very quiet person, which isn’t true at all. I’m actually pretty talkative, but during that time I couldn’t speak. Oftentimes I tried to just be invisible because inside I felt as though I was slowly diminishing.
Simultaneous to all that was going on, I was the sole bread winner so it was imperative that I kept it all together, at least as best as I could. I lived in Newport News but worked in Norfolk and I worked traditional business hours so it was inevitable for me to be in tunnel traffic going to and returning from work. During that time I felt like I was being pulled in so many directions and it seemed like my life was too much for me to bear. The mindset I had was similar to that of a battered woman, and making matters worse was the fact that my marriage meant the world to me, so when I learned of my husband’s infidelity, I was devastated. I had many emotions surge through me, but the most intense one was anger; both at him and at God. I believe it’s quite obvious why I was angry with my ex-husband, but my short-lived anger with God was because I was faithful to my marriage and I felt this shouldn’t had happened to me. As I mentioned, that was short-lived, mainly because I knew better than that.
I said all of that to lead up to this one particular day while I was driving to work; during which time I was feeling pretty homicidal and suicidal. I felt as though I owed it to myself to have a nervous breakdown because this was too much for one person to bear. I still didn’t know where my baby (oldest daughter) was and my once stable family was ripped apart before my eyes and I felt like there wasn’t anything I could do. All I knew is somehow I had to pull it altogether because I had 3 more children at home who needed and depended on me. I couldn’t afford to lose it though I was so tempted to. And let’s not even talk about the numerous times I fancied the idea to slam my pedal to the medal and drive myself over the bridge. I was in a very dark place, and as I was driving to work, I was screaming and crying out loud in my SUV. I was vexed and broken into countless pieces, but immediately following my ranting were words that flowed right out of my heart, which is this—IF I could save one person from experiencing the enormous pain I was carrying then what I was going through was worth it. Those words flowed from somewhere within me that I barely knew existed. I was broken, but indeed very serious. And please do not misconstrue this as me glorifying myself because that couldn’t be further from the truth. God gets all of the glory because all that is within me that is good comes from Him. I cannot (neither do I want to) take credit for something God has done. He gets all of the glory!
So here I am today. Right now I am looking at some pretty extreme circumstances and they are in fact extreme. However, God has shown me a glimpse of my future and what I seen is far greater than what I am battling right now. Though I can be a lot of things right now, from worried to downright terrified, I choose God and His Word. I choose His Will for my life. This doesn’t mean that I have all the answers because I don’t have the answer to even one of many questions. It doesn’t mean I have a contingency plan or a Plan B because I don’t have that either. But what I do have is God and I have learned that I can put ALL of my trust in Him. I believe many say they love the Lord but it’s easy to make such a declaration when you have digits in the bank, a steady income and in good health. But can you say that while God is turning your world upside down and inside out? Can you say that you trust Him in the midst of your storm or in the middle of your crisis? Are you able to say “Lord, I trust You” even when trusting Him doesn’t’ seem profitable? Is your trust in Him there even when you look like a complete and utter fool to all who know your situation or circumstance?
I’ve come to a place in my life where I realize that my life is indeed ministry and that a part of that ministry is to be transparent. People, both saved and unsaved, need to see that the life of a true child of God is not one that is always floating upon the mountain top. Au contraire! There are definitely some valley experiences, and it is often through those experiences that your relationship with God deepens and grows to a whole new level. The Bible says many are the afflictions of the righteous BUT the Lord delivers them from them all! Thus, the Christian life does include hardships but the awesome promise God has made to us is that we will NOT go through them alone. He will be with us, always!
I cannot tell you how much God has completely changed my life, and even now, He’s bringing me to a higher level of faith and a deeper level of trust in Him. I can actually say that I am absolutely, head-over-heels in love with the Lord my God. He is the Lover of my soul and the Keeper of my heart and my life is sold out to Him. There are several things the Lord will have me do before I leave this earth with the priority being living a life of worship and holiness. We as children of the Most High are all called to live in a way that glorifies the Father, and His glory doesn’t always mean our comfort. Quite frankly, God is often glorified in our struggles and pain; but in that we learn that God’s grace is sufficient. With that being said, my putting my business out there for others to see isn’t something I can say that I love doing; HOWEVER, what greatly supersedes my comfort and prevails in my heart, even above the possibility of being judged, is this — IF my experience or my testimony helps another person or encourages another in some way, shape or form, then a part of my purpose has been fulfilled AND God gets ALL the glory!
Be encouraged!
Be edified!
Be blessed!
A Sunday Morning Testimony
Current Mood: Anointed & Blessed & Highly Favored
Have you ever connected with a song so much so to where it was as if that singer was the only person on earth who could identify with what you were going through? Well, that’s been the case with pastor and singer Shirley Caesar with her song, “I Told the Storm”. It started Sunday morning.
Sunday morning I woke up and was determined to go to church. I hadn’t been to my church in about 4 weeks, mostly due to not having a vehicle and not liking (actually hating) to ask others to pick me up. However, today I had to put that aside. I needed to be there. I missed my beloved pastors, I needed to partake in Holy Communion, I needed to serve with the other ministers, I needed to give the Lord His tithes and the church an offering and I absolutely needed to be up under the corporate anointing at my church. I tried to fancy going to another church just in case I couldn’t make it there; however, that just wouldn’t do. I needed to be at my home church. So I called a member of my church about 8:30 AM and asked her if she’d be able to pick me up. She needed to get back to me, so once we hung up, I asked the Lord to please provide a way. I continued to get dressed and about 20 minutes later she called and said she was able to pick me up but she would be late. I told her I didn’t mind being late. I just wanted to be there.
As I patiently waited for her I began to play the song “I Told the Storm” and I began to pray. You see, I woke up that morning feeling so very heavy. According to the certified letter I recently received, my house was going up for auction (foreclosure) in 5 days and I didn’t feel there was anything I could do to stop it. Though God had given me a different Word, I struggled with what He said and the letter I had read. I also felt very self-conscious because I had gained weight from trying to bury my feelings in food. Making matters worse is that Ms. Diva hadn’t had her hair done in months and it certainly showed. I felt like a hot mess and like my life was even a greater mess; however, I knew I had to be at church today. God told me He was going to break something off me today. He told me that I wasn’t going to leave the same and that my spirit will be encouraged today. So I waited for my sister to pick me up, all the while playing over and over Shirley Caesar’s I Told the Storm.
I noticed the time was after 10:30 (our service starts @ 10:00 am) and she still hadn’t arrived yet. I began to ask God to give my sister safe and clear passage to my home, and I also was bold enough to ask Him to have our church service start late today. That may sound a little selfish, but that’s what I did. You see, I couldn’t afford to miss any part of the Word being brought forth that day. It was already around 10:40 and my ride hadn’t come AND it takes about 20-25 minutes to get to my church, so I needed God to work this out for me. I needed to make it to church and I needed God to somehow work it out so I wouldn’t miss what I needed from Him today.
My sister arrived at my house close to 11 AM and I was so grateful to her coming to get me. I know I live completely out of the way and the fact that she came out to get me, with me asking her at the very last minute, meant so much to me. I really don’t know if she knew how much she did for me that day. In some ways, God used her to rescue me.
As I sat in the car, I found it difficult to talk. Usually I’m a chatterbox around the people I’m comfortable with (she being one of them) but that day I couldn’t say anything. I knew that I would break down and cry if I said anything so I said nothing. Though I didn’t tell her that, I believe she understood that I really couldn’t speak too much at the time. I did manage to muster up the strength to share with her the song I had been listening to all morning. She then shared with me the song she was listening to, and when she played it, then it started. A seemingly endless stream of tears. All I could do is cry, as this man was speaking my story. The song began with him ministering (not yet singing) about the Job Experience and how he had lived through a similar experience. All I could do is cry because the words he spoke were the words that described my life at the time. I later found out that the name of the song is “I Still Believe” by Bishop Larry Trotter, and I share the same testimony that yet, I still believe God.
Once we arrived at the church, I marveled at God and His awesome grace. Not only had He provided me with a ride but He also…………….
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Saturday Morning
Current Mood: Anointed
Saturday mornings are strategic. God knows that this is the one guaranteed moment of peace I will have in my life each week. This Saturday morning, I wake up to the sound of rain. It’s calm and soothing. Saturday mornings always start out with the potential to be detrimental. My mind races with uncontrollable thoughts in the quiet of morn. God steps in…
I reflect on Him and His goodness. And then I realize that my uncontrollable thoughts are not reality. They will never be my reality. His Word is like a hand that loosens the knot slowly tightening in the pit of my stomach…
I have realized my peace again. I start to peacefully plan and see my future again. I anticipate. I hope. I believe. I know. See, my peace never fully went away, it just sort of faded…
…and now has returned full force.
About the Author
Name: Naima, aka "MsLadyNi"
Email:
Web Site: http://www.naimawilliams.org
Yahoo IM:
Bio: This fiery yet humble servant of God ministers under an authentic prophetic anointing yet has a teaching ministry style. She also has a deep, genuine passion for the building up and edifying the body of Christ. Since her membership of Shekinah Glory Outreach Ministries International in Chesapeake, VA, under the pastorate of Bishop A. Ray Rouson, she’s faithfully served as a part of the street team ministry, a Sunday school teacher, an Associate Minister, and later the Director of Evangelism. She also spearheaded their Online Outreach Ministry and served as its President and Editor in Chief. During her tenure at SGOMI, she also became certified by Christian International Apostolic Network founded Dr. Bill Hamon, to teach how to properly minister in the prophetic based upon Scripture. Additionally, she also served on the prophetic team at Destiny Spirit Apostolic Network under the pastorate of Apostle Astern. She served in these capacities until the Lord called her to relocate to Atlanta, Georgia in July 2010. To read more about Naima, click "About" then "Who's Naima" located on the top horizontal menu. You can also visit her official website at www.NaimaWilliams.org and her eJournal at www.NaimaWilliams.com/blog! Be sure to connect to her through MySpace and Facebook!
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